I awoke in a light blue room with one small window on the far wall. The bed was small and comfortable and seemed to possess an endless supply of blankets that I had kicked off of the bed in the night. I prefer to sleep uncovered. There was a small nightstand which held a lamp and a glass of water. I took a sip and got my bearings. The light from the window indicated that it was late morning so I must have slept for many hours. I felt much better, the food and rest had done me wonders. I sat on the edge of the bed for a moment letting sleep slip fully away then walked over to my clothes that I had laid across the chair by the window.

    I didn’t look out the window but instead inspected the clothes. In the pockets of the mugger’s pants I found seventeen dollars and a knife. The knife I had picked up after the fight. It was a switch blade with a black handle and a silver release button. I tucked it all back in the pockets and made my way down the hall to the bathroom. I had slept in the hospital gown and now it doubled nicely as a robe. It was still a little airy in the back but it covered me enough to suffice. There was a towel on the toilet and a yell from down stairs let me know to feel free to bathe if I wanted. It felt good to clean up. It had been a long time since I used a straight razor but I managed to get most of the stubble. I dried off and as I walked back towards my room the smell of bacon and eggs from downstairs caused my stomach to grumble. I got dressed quickly and rushed down to breakfast.

    I ate my breakfast in silence. There was some tension in the air as if the idea that they let a perfect stranger into their house had just occurred to them. I ate as much as I could since I had no real idea when I would get a chance to eat again. Not wanting to make them any more uncomfortable than they already were I stood up and said.

    “I thank you for your hospitality but now I must be going”. There was a long pause and I watched a slight smile grow on his wife’s face as she realized I was leaving. Not that I blamed her, the circumstances by which I met her husband were a little out of the ordinary. I had saved her spouse from harm by defeating four bandits while wearing nothing more than a drafty hospital gown. Okay, maybe calling them bandits is a strong word but you have to admit it makes it sound much more exciting and heroic. Sometime soon I really need to do a little swashbuckling.

“Wait” Smithe said “I still owe you a suit and then I shall drive you to the airport or train station”.

“Well I appreciate the offer but you don’t really have to do that, you have done enough. Besides, planes and trains are not my preferred method of travel.”

    “However you go, you still shall need a suit of clothes for the journey, then my debt shall be repaid and our friendship shall be cemented,” he proclaimed.

    He was very histrionic, and I wondered if it was his Italian parents or fifties upbringing that caused it, either way I was not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Come to think of it I didn’t really want to look any horse in the mouth, except maybe Mr. Ed. You have to watch and make sure that his lips are moving with the voice so you know it’s really him talking.

    “Again, I thank you for your hospitality, shall we be going?” I asked.

    With that we headed into town presumably by the same route that I had slept through the night before. It didn’t look like I had missed much. I was riding through 50’s America, or at least a reasonable facsimile of it. I felt like it should be in black and white, that way I could save all the color for Oz. Twenty minutes later we arrived in town and after a few turns we parked behind his shop.

    The Smithe’s Family Suit Shop lay at the end of the block. It had a large display window to the left of the door edged with frosted glass. Two dark suits were on display, a blue pin stripe and a bottle green serge, either would look great on me. The door to the shop was green, wooden, and looked fairly sturdy. Smithe put a small key in the lock, turned it, and gave a little wave to suggest I should follow him inside. Before I stepped in I turned around to check to see if any eyes were upon us. I get paranoid when people are trying to kill me. I didn’t see anyone out of the ordinary about, even the park looked friendly in the daylight. With a wonderful false sense of security I stepped inside and began to imagine how good I was going to look in my new threads.

    Smithe turned on the lights and stepped into the back room so I took a moment to look around. It was a small store with several suits on mannequins and many more hung up along the back wall. There was a blue curtain separating the front of the shop from the back room. Smithe emerged with a measuring tape, pincushion and fabric samples. I picked out a nice burgundy color for the suit, my favorite, and a gold silk for the shirt. He spent the next couple of hours measuring and sewing and measuring again. Then I tried on and took off and tried on again. The whole time he continued relating to me his family history by telling me of the meeting and courting of his wife and then of his parents. I didn’t interrupt because I had nothing to say and the story did occasionally make me laugh.

    Two men came in during this time and picked up suits. He talked with each of them briefly before continuing his work on my suit. I didn’t take much notice of their conversations or of them for that matter. I was still a long way from the Labyrinth and figuring out the identity of Mr. Red Mustache. I hoped that after my suit was finished, I would have enough money for a night in a motel and a good meal. I was healing fast but I needed food to keep it up. One of life’s fun oddities, food is required in order to regenerawte. I was thinking of meatloaf with a little ketchup.

    It was something I had gotten hooked on years ago, especially meatloaf without onions. A chef once argued with me for hours about how meatloaf wasn’t really meatloaf without onions. I hated onions and I was not about to let them ruin one of my favorite dishes. The man was so upset he almost refused to make the dish for me the way I wanted it. It was not worth arguing over but I really enjoy a good debate. After it became clear that he would never concede, I punched him in the nose to show him that I was right. Okay maybe I didn’t punch him but after smelling his breath for all that time I sure wish I had. That was several hours of my life I would never get back and now I was wasting even more time remembering it. Damn I need a Coke.

    Shortly before Smithe finished I had him point me in the direction of a shop to get new underwear and socks and a clean tee shirt. When I got back my suit was finished and I put it on. It always feels so good to be in new clothes. Once he was satisfied that the suit fit perfectly we said our goodbyes and I was ready to be on my way. He was a nice man and if I hadn’t seemed to frighten his wife I might have visited him again sometime. But as it was, I simply avoided having to add one more person to my Christmas list.

    After I thanked him again for his kindness and convinced him that I didn’t need a ride to the train station, we shook hands and I headed out down the street in my new suit. Burgundy and gold might be an odd color combination here but they are, after all, my trademark colors. They would make me more easily recognizable once I got to the Labyrinth. I had actually debated wearing something different in case anyone was still actively trying to kill me but I decided if I was to be done in, I should at least get to pick the suit for the occasion.

    It was mid-evening when I got to the diner. I didn’t realize I was in the suit shop for so long. There was a good crowd in the diner. Red booths lined the windows along the front of the diner with several round stools at the bar and a few small tables towards the right. I spotted an open table in the back and asked the hostess if I could be seated there. She was a short woman in her mid 40’s with frizzy blonde hair. She had a plaid dress on and a white apron. She smiled at me and led the way. I sat down and scanned the menu for a moment quickly finding the dish of my desire. I looked up to get the waitress’s attention then thought better of it and scanned the menu some more. I already knew what I wanted but was afraid if I picked too quickly they might think I was some kind of meatloaf nut. So I counted to thirty and then called her over. My meatloaf came with mashed potatoes, green beans, and some honey-flavored gravy which was odd yet delicious. The soda wasn’t Coke but it was okay. When I was finished I tried the apple pie with some strawberry ice cream as I watched the patrons in the establishment. That was when I spotted her.

    She had on a black coat and black hat with a small veil coming just down to her nose. Deep red hair fell just over her shoulders and emerald green eyes glanced up to meet mine. She was strangely familiar and yet I had no idea where I could have known her from. It had been years since I had visited this realm and although I look exactly the same she would have been a child back then. She smiled a devious smile and got up and turned slowly towards the door. I had the horrible feeling I was being set up for something so I hesitated for a moment before following her. Just as she got to the door she let out an intoxicating laugh and that is when it hit me. I knew her from the Labyrinth. I jumped to my feet and bolted for the door. The waitress yelled at me and I halted for a minute to throw her the fourteen bucks that I had remaining in my possession. It was a hell of a tip but I was in a hurry. The woman had already stepped out the door and vanished to the left. An elderly couple entered just as I got to the door and I tried my best to politely part them like the Red Sea. I was less than graceful and the man let me know what he thought of me as I made it outside. I hated the universal irony that caused everyone in the world to be in my way when I had to chase someone. It was annoying.

    As I already expected she was nowhere to be seen. If she would have stepped from this realm into the next I would have felt it. The wall would still be healing but it wasn’t. The only other way I knew to travel through the cosmic web of realms was with a Helios Lens and as far as I knew they were unique to my family. But I thought the same thing of the ability to puncture reality and Red Stache had shown me otherwise. Even if she had used a Helios I should be able to feel the slight disturbance with a little concentration and there was just nothing here. I hate not knowing what is going on. I think it was a Tuesday so I decided Tuesdays suck. Clearly someone knew where I was so this was no place to hang out and wait for my next visitor. If I was going to make it to the Labyrinth at all I had to set out tonight. I started walking back towards the park. I needed a minute to clear my head and I didn’t want to vanish in front of any casual onlookers. The last time I did that I sort of altered the religious beliefs of some simple people. I still feel bad about that one.

    I let my mind race back to the woman I had just seen. I can’t believe that the red hair and green eyes’ hadn’t instantly jogged my memory but they do say the memory is the first thing to go. I had met her before…damn, I never did get her name. She was having a drink in the Dying Rat. Being the most popular bar in the Labyrinth means it is filled with the most interesting characters. I was shocked to see such a beautiful woman in there by herself. Back then she wore a skin-tight grey suit and black boots. Some red and black insignia was on her shoulder and belt but I can’t seem to recall it. What I do recall are those bright green eyes catching mine just as the first bottle flew by. I had an urge to charge to her rescue and save her from all the wonderful violence when she showed me why I really should take notice of her presence. She was very well trained and moved with a grace that shocked even me. She had taken down two huge pig men while making her way towards me. I knocked out the rowdy gladiator to my left and met her in the middle. She had simply said “let’s go” and we were off. Her room was simple and her skin was soft. After a long time she had exhausted me, not an easy thing to do to my kind, and when I awoke she was gone. I never saw her again. I inquired in the Rat for several days but no one saw her or even remembered her.

    I think it was the seventh day when I met Jessi-usia, an amazing woman with dark violet hair and lavender skin. That was the last day I even thought about the beautiful red head in the grey suit. Purple turned out to be a much more creative color.

    That had been many, many years ago for me but since time moves at a different pace in some realms there was no telling how long had transpired for the redhead. It seemed unlikely she would travel all this way for child support and, truth be told I had never met a woman who could bear my child, so I was pretty sure that was not it. My real concern at the moment was that she and Red Stache might be in league together, the two of them being related just because they both had red hair seemed far too obvious to be true so I discounted it. Although, he wouldn’t be the first angry brother that didn’t realize his sister was old enough to make her own decisions. Brothers never take that one well. For now, we shall consider them two separate enemies and plan on having to deal with them both. Assumptions were not going to get me anywhere right now. I was just about at the park and ready to get the heck out of here. It had been a good run. I got a new suit, a couple of good meals, a switch blade, and a dozen more questions than I had before. If only Alex Trebeck was here. I arrived in the park and found a spot out of sight of the surrounding buildings and gave reality a little push.

    The next realm was like something out of Earth’s Old West. I was standing just outside of a small town with one road and people traveling by horseback. I was sure I could have found a nice saloon and played some cards but I was in a hurry. I really wanted to just go to the next world and the next until I reached my destination but, in my current state of health, I had to wait a couple of minutes for the wall to settle. It is always harder to push through a reality wall right after it has been punctured, it seems to tense up while it’s healing. After a brief wait, I repeated my push and was almost run over by what looked to be a musketeer who was pursuing a crook. He glanced at my outfit and I think he laughed. A short time passed again as I stepped into a small glade with a green lake and deer a plenty. My next stop got me too close to a goblin that didn’t seem to like my swift kick to his head. He would wake up eventually. I repeated the steps time and time again until I finally got to where I was seeking. I had dodged four arrows, an axe, was bitten by two mean bugs, and been rained on twice before achieving my destination. I stepped through a huge stone archway, which marked this particular entrance, and I was finally in the Labyrinth.